Things are getting better!

In the past I have struggled with day to day life, but lately things have been getting better. I am coping with day to day life a little better.

  1. I have a new job! It may be in the same industry as my current job, but it pays more and is less stressful.
  2. I’m on new medication. It’s helping me cope with all these new changes in my life, it’s helping me tackle my fears and problems head on!
  3. I have a new therapist. They are really nice and are helping me sort out my emotions, hopefully this will give me more courage.

At the end of the day, you must all remember that it is OK to NOT be okay. And asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength and courage.

By the way, I also have a new Twitter account, follow me: @noteofvelvet. I will follow back!

Thanks again for reading this:

The Velvet Notebook

Watch “Dido – Chances (Official Audio)” on YouTube

I must say that I am really surprised that I liked this, I’m not one for listening to new music but this caught my eye. As I have previously listened to Dido’s other new track “Give you up,” and I really liked that one.

As for “Chances” it reminded me a little of 80’s synth pop and Enya combined, it’s melody is soothing and has a mystical feel to it. It’s a great track and I have yet to listen to the rest of her new album.

I highly recommend this and her other track “Give you up.”

Her new album “Still on my Mind” will be released on March 8th, 2019.

Number 2 out of 3

Half way through the three

I have only ONE more night shift to do and I am off for a few days! I can not wait, even though I only have three nights off, it is nice to be home and sleep in my bed.

I am now currently sitting in said bed trying to settle back and keep the thoughts about work out. As hard as I try, they still swim around in my head, I’m always thinking of what I’ve forgotten or who have I forgotten? Have I done the paperwork right? Have I done the cleaning? Did I hand over that important piece of information over?

It’s hard for when you work in a job that requires you to be vigilant. A job that requires you to have a good memory, a job that requires you to be organised and calm.

People do not realise that care workers are under a lot of pressure. People do not realise how hard care work actually is. And at this very moment, I am trying to calm down from a long twelve hour night shift. But I can’t, as I am still thinking about what I could have done and what I haven’t done. I’m panicking about what I’ve forgotten.

Sometimes it will be hard to walk away from work, it’s hard not to take it home. This year I am going to leave it outside of my door, I’m going to leave it on my porch and I am going to relax once I cross the threshold.

Work should stay at work.

I hope you all have a good morning and an excellent day, I am off to bed to sleep before my last shift tonight.

Thank you again for reading another one of my blog posts.

The Velvet Notebook.

It’s been a while…..

2019, a new year, a new start.

Hello,

I am very sorry for not posting anything since December last year. I have been very busy with work, and also I have been unwell over Christmas and New year.

So the new start of 2019 did not begin well. I have tried and tried again to get back into writing my blog posts, but I have been unable to do so. The reason? No not a reason, but for reasons.

I used to love my job, I used to enjoy caring for the individuals and I used to enjoy working with my colleagues. However, recently my workplace has become a toxic environment. We have had a bit of trouble (I won’t go into detail) and we have had serious staff shortages. Which has left staff morale very low.

And in all honesty, it has left me feeling down. I feel like a failure because I can not care for the individuals that I am paid to care for. Some of my closest colleagues have left, and I fear I may be losing more of them.

We have also had a new manager, and to be honest with you I am not very sure about this one. Our previous manager was terrible, had awful people skills and had no idea how to manage a care home. And after that experience, I think we all are feeling very wary of this new woman.

And my first impression of her was not a good one. The new manager had come in early on her first day, and instead of introducing herself to the nightstaff she stayed in her office. I was angry, being a new manager, a person who should have a good relationship with their staff, did not come around to introduce themselves.

My second impression of her was again not a good one. She was shouting, which is extremely unprofessional. All in all, not very impressed so far.

Another reason for me not posting anything is that I have not been feeling very happy lately. With the events that have happened and are happening at my workplace, paired with my continuous unhappiness, I have just lost interest in everything I love.

But now, with this new blog post, I am starting afresh. I am beginning to get back on track, I have begun an application for University to do my masters degree and have e-mailed a few local clubs in order to help myself get better.

I am also on the hunt for a new job, I have decided the best thing to do is get out of there. I deserve better, and I am going to get better.

Why now? Why did you not do this sooner? You may be asking yourself.

Because it is a new year, a new start. It is no longer that terrible year that was 2018, it is now 2019. I can leave every mistake that I made behind me, and move on. And try to make everything better. When the new year came round, I looked at my life and realised that I really needed to change it.

My advice to anyone who is working in a toxic environment or is feeling very low: It will improve. You will be able to get up and face the challenges of the day, the hour, the minute or that very second with confidence.

However, you won’t always be happy you will get those days for where you will think: “Why do I even bother?” But try to remember the days for where everything is that little bit more bearable, the days for where you have succeeded.

I wish everyone a happy new year, and I hope that you all achieve some kind of happiness or peace this year. Because given the current climate, we all need some.

Thank you for reading this, even if you think that this is nonsense.

The Velvet Notebook.

Why you should always think before you speak…

There’s that old saying, the one where it says that you need to think before speaking. Has no doubt been said by everyone, towards anyone who has lost their temper.

I assume, that all of you, have been in a situation for where you have spoken before thinking. And the overwhelming feeling of guilt, regret and shame just rise out of you like an over flowing saucepan.

You realise with absolute horror, that you have said things, very terrible and offensive things.

When this happens to me, I like to reflect on my behaviour, so that I can better myself for possible future reactions and/or situations.

There is one incident that stands out, and that involved a nurse. I was working on a unit by myself, and one of the clients had slipped out of bed and onto a crash mat. So I followed the company’s policy, I got the nurse to check the client over.

However, the nurse was not happy. They insisted that this was all a waste of time, and that there was no need to check her. I however disagreed. Therefore I lost my temper, I engaged my mouth before my brian and began having a go at her. In front of the client.

Looking back, I should have thought of the phrase: “Think before you speak.” I realised that I was unprofessional, and should have dealt with it properly.

You’re probably wondering why I have decided to post something like this. I almost spoke before thinking at work last night, but I thought about my possible reaction and stopped it.

I guess, through thinking about it and now, writing about the experience I have began to better understand myself.

Again, thank you for reading this. Even if you think all of this is stupid.

Thanks,

The Velvet Notebook.

The First One

The First One:

In an attempt to better understand myself, and to share my interests with others who might also share them with me; I have decided to start a blog. I may write something short, or I may post just a picture. Perhaps I will share with you what I have recently bought. Who knows?

Let me start by introducing myself: My name is Cath, I am a 23-year-old woman from the United Kingdom. I work nights so I may be posting at all hours of the day and night. My job is hard, and sometimes I may not be posting for a while as I will be resting. 

The content of this blog will contain a variety of my interests, which range from music to fashion, films etc.

My favourite type of music, that I will be posting a lot about, will be classic rock. My favourite band is Led Zeppelin, I have 6 of their albums on vinyl. I also have Pink Floyd, The Who, Doors, David Bowie, I have all the Beatles albums, Rolling Stones, Cat Stevens, Mamas and the Papas and Fleetwood Mac. There will be more to come! I also own a lot of modern rock LPs, such as Royal Blood, White Stripes, Glass Animals, Dorothy. (I do have more but I can’t remember them all!).

I also have a love for comics, mainly Marvel. But I also adore Wynona Earp, go check it out!

I am also using this blog to encourage myself to start reading books again so I will be writing about some of the books I will be reading. I have recently purchased a book called “A Demon in Silver” so I will be writing about that soon enough!

I’ll also be using this blog to talk about my experience with my anxiety, and how I am dealing with it. And to perhaps help others who also suffer the same as me. As I know that talking about it does help, especially with people who deal with it also.

I look forward to exploring all these with you,

The Velvet Notebook.